He said she took the boys on a little retreat. Jax asked Gemma to tell Nero that heвЂ™d meet him at Diosa, and she gave the DA a lovely greeting on her way out: вЂњSuck my white crack.вЂќ The DA wanted to speak with Jax alone, and the conversation that followed became CCH PounderвЂ™s new best scene on the show. Jax showed up at the clubhouse just before the DA and Eli did. Today would be a day theyвЂ™d all remember: He wanted them to look back and know that he was speaking the truth in this entry - they are the most important thing to him and he would never hurt them or abandon them. SinceвЂ™s OpieвЂ™s death, he seems to have lost his center, he said, along with love, camaraderie, freedom and all the things he wants from his life. IвЂ™ve become the thing, the one I hated.вЂќ He spoke of the periods when he has to avoid looking into a mirror because of the self hate. I love it when you can hear Kurt SutterвЂ™s voice in Jax: вЂњI always find a reason, a cause, a need that allows me the karmic lubrication to stuff my guilt into a savage compartment. But what brings him the most sorrow is how heвЂ™s learned to justify the behavior. He feels remorse for the acts of violence heвЂ™s committed, the planned and the spontaneous. ItвЂ™s that rush that gets him out of bed in the morning. More than once this season, IвЂ™ve written that Jax should just stay in bed because his days are just one problem after the other. He admitted he was terrified a great deal of the time - of what heвЂ™s done, what heвЂ™s doing, and what he might have to do. Ah, the poetry of Tara having started the season writing down all of JaxвЂ™s actions on those notepads so he would be judged an unfit parent when the time comes.

He was journaling and explaining to his sons that he writes so theyвЂ™ll know him, but also because these pads are the one place he can be honest without fear of judgment. We opened with Jax sitting in the graveyard, leaning on OpieвЂ™s tombstone.

Season 6 episode titles sons of anarchy